Family Dynamics

My Dear Friends,

Today in the Gospel, we meet a father, two sons and the whole household in the background (Luke 15: 1-3,11-32). It is the story of a family, including a son who has treated his family as if they were “dead” to him; a father who keeps hope alive for the possible return of one who many would consider “dead,” and of the older son, who has done his duty and been faithful, but has become lost in his own way.

While each family has its own story, and no two are exactly alike, we can admit that new holy habits are especially hard to form in family life. Many different personalities and desires, myriad customs and practices passed on from generations, all make forming new habits a greater challenge. Plus, among our relationships, we each have a way of being, and that way is probably most engrained among our family; call it the family dynamic. Culturally, this dynamic helps us understand the practical reason that those among us called to consecrated life (as sisters, monks, nuns, friars etc.) leave their biological family and join a spiritual family with its own lineage, heritage, and traditions. Practically, adopting a new dynamic makes forming holy habits much easier.

I would invite you to reflect on and name the holy habits that are already a part of your family life, and what from your dynamic may be impeding progress toward the good.

One of the deeper elements to the challenging soul work of forming holy habits includes understanding our motivation. We might call it intentionality, the why behind what we do, which drives the action. Why does the younger son go off, or the older son keep score, or the father keep vigil? What dynamic or motivation is moving them? Conscious and subconscious motivating factors move us. Awareness can be a key to help overcome an unhealthy habit or pattern. What are you after? What drives or motivates you in different moments throughout your day? 

Each family has its own dynamic, so too does each parish family. Here at OLPH, one of the most tangible ways for us to live out our mission of Building Up the Body of Christ is by creating a culture of service. We strive to find ways to love God and neighbor through ministries that allow us to contribute our time to consistently create an inspiring environment for our existing members. These roles also help create a welcoming environment for newcomers. This week, we are focusing on three specific roles - hospitality for the lift, advancers of the slides and tech (camera operators). We are all called to follow Jesus' example to "serve, not to be served."  Could one of these roles be calling you to service? You can find out by signing up to shadow a role on any weekend in the month of April.

Think of it like any family activity. We would like to get the whole family involved, for each member to embrace a role in the symphony of parish life. Compare it to weekly family house cleaning. Mom would give each of us a responsibility, and we developed a routine, like a dance: dusting, bathrooms, floors, garbage, laundry. We all did our part to make the whole dynamic run smoothly.

This week, we invite you to pray about how you can be of service to our parish family and give back. May your love overflow, enriching the harmony of our shared life together, making it more beautiful for both long-time members and new visitors. We invite you to share the love that is part of our spiritual family.

God’s peace be with you!
Fr. Joel